Establishing Safety & Working with Triggers

I recommend practicing the first part a few times a day to help create the ability to actually do it while triggered. Dr. Peter Levine says it takes 6 months to create a new nervous system habit, which is the easiest way to let go of old ones that no longer serve. So, consider setting an alarm 3x per day, taking a few daily minutes for this exercise for a 6 month period, and watch what happens.

Establishing Safety

-place one hand on your heart, one on your belly or give yourself a hug

-look around the room and name the objects you see to presence yourself

-next, ask yourself, “Am I safe now?”

-if you are currently safe, state out loud, “I am safe.” 

Establishing Safety When Triggered

-place one hand on your heart, one on your belly or give yourself a hug

-look around the room and name the objects you see to presence yourself

-close your eyes and turn your attention inward to notice what you’re feeling and/or thinking and whatever it is, cultivate curiosity by responding with something like - “Isn’t that interesting?”

-whatever the thought is, you can create perspective by responding with: “I have the thought that….” OR “The story I’m telling myself is….”

-if it’s an emotion instead of a thought, validate that emotion:

“What am I feeling? I have a good reason for having this emotion (you don't need to know what that reason is, it may even be pre-verbal), therefore it has a right to be here. It’s valid that I have these feelings.” Validating emotions allows them to move through.

-next, ask yourself, “Am I safe now?”

-if you are currently safe, state out loud, “I am safe.” 

-now ask yourself, “what is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?” 

-If you want to take it further, honor the pattern (part of yourself) that came up. It got you here and deserves respect. Now you can communicate with that part (usually a protector), to let it know that you are safe and you are cultivating new responses. It can be helpful to let it know how old you are now, what the date is, and where you are. Many of these protector parts of us are “frozen children” that need to be oriented to present time. You can even thank it! The point isn’t to eradicate this part of you, but to lovingly let it know that you don't need it to run the show. Eventually, you will naturally repurpose that energy. 

Being playful and curious with this is always helpful!